The internet is everywhere in our daily lives, making your teen vulnerable to an evil crime with sometimes tragic results. Criminals use the vulnerabilities of young individuals, pressuring them into sharing sexual images and videos or engaging in sexual acts by threatening to share this content with the victim's social circle. They are leveraging the fear of public shaming and social rejection. This modern form of exploitation has invaded various digital platforms, including social media, video games, and other online spaces frequented by kids and teens.

This article delves into the horrible experiences of families impacted by this crime, the scale of the issue both in America and globally, preventive measures and resources for recovery.

Two families and their tragic sextortion nightmare

The Woods Family:

James Woods, a high school senior and promising track athlete with college on the horizon, had recently earned his driver's license and celebrated his senior yearbook photo when he became the target of an online predator on Instagram. Within less than 20 hours, James was bombarded with 200 messages, his mother, Tamia Woods, told CBS News.

"The messages varied from 'I own you,' to chilling demands like 'you need to take your own life'." Tamia Woods

The FBI labels the ordeal James Woods went through as financial sextortion.

Although devastated by their loss, parents Tamia and Tim Woods took immediate action. To ensure no other parent felt the same pain, in January 2023, the Woods founded a nonprofit organization called the “Do It For James Foundation” to warn others of the dangers teens face online.

The DeMay Family: Michigan's Jordan DeMay's story is equally heart-wrenching. Jordan, a promising athlete and outgoing 17-year-old who his friends and family say made everyone's life brighter was a victim of sextortion that ended in his suicide, a life cut short by the fear and embarrassment of exposure.

According to CBS News, “the Upper Peninsula Michigan high school homecoming king received a message from an Instagram account that appeared to be a teenage girl, within only six hours would end with him taking his own life.

The girl, who investigators said was, in reality, Nigerian men allegedly part of an online extortion ring using the teenage female handle “Dani Robertts,” first befriended him, later volunteered her own nudes, and then elicited explicit photos from Jordan, only to immediately upon receipt, extort him for money after threatening to send those compromising photos to his friends and family.”

Jordan’s story underscores the psychological manipulation and the speed at which sextortion can escalate, often leading to irreversible decisions in young minds.

The stats on sextortion

In the United States, the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children (NCMEC) reported over 13,000 cases of sextortion involving minors between October 2021 and March 2023, with at least 20 linked suicides.

Globally, the WeProtect Global Alliance reported a 7,200% increase in sextortion cases from 2021 to 2022, highlighting a rapidly escalating global crisis.

Understanding the psychology of sextortion

Sextortion is not just a crime; it's an exploitation of trust and technology. Predators, often posing as peers or romantic interests, entice teens into sharing compromising images. Once obtained, these images are used as leverage to demand more content, money, or other concessions under threats of public exposure. The FBI has noted an "explosion" in these crimes, particularly those financially motivated, where the criminal's primary goal is monetary gain over sexual gratification.

Why some teens choose suicide over reporting they are a victim of crime

The decision by teens to resort to suicide rather than seeking help from parents or law enforcement when they are victims of sextortion can be attributed to a complex interplay of psychological, social and societal factors:

Fear of Exposure and Shame:

Social Stigma: Teens who fear being judged, shamed, or rejected by peers, family, or the community can be overwhelming.

Personal Embarrassment: The humiliation of engaging in what they think is a mistake can lead to intense personal shame. The shame makes the idea of facing anyone, even engaged and supportive parents with this secret seem unbearable.

Lack of Trust or Communication:

Parental Relationship: If the relationship between the teen and their parents isn't strong or open, or if there's a perceived or actual threat of harsh judgment or punishment, teens might not feel safe or comfortable confiding in them. Teens with a close parental relationship who fear disappointing loving and engaged parents are also reluctant to talk about the crime.

Fear of Consequences: Teens might fear that going to law enforcement will lead to legal repercussions for themselves, like being in trouble for sending explicit photos, despite being the victim in this context.

Manipulation by Predators:

Psychological Manipulation: Sextortionists often manipulate their victims with threats that seem immediate and inescapable, convincing them that there's no way out other than compliance or suicide. They might tell their victims that no one will believe them or their lives will be ruined if the content is released.

Mental Health Issues:

Pre-existing Conditions: Teens with mental health issues like depression or anxiety might be more vulnerable to the despair created by sextortion. The stress can make these conditions worse, leading to suicidal thoughts.

Impulsivity: The adolescent brain is still developing, particularly in areas responsible for impulse control and long-term thinking, making them more susceptible to sudden decisions under pressure.

Misinformation and Lack of Awareness:

Not Knowing Help Exists: Many teens might not be aware that what they are experiencing is a crime or of resources like counseling, crisis hotlines, or how law enforcement can help in these situations.

Misunderstanding the Law: There's often confusion about what is a crime, both for the victim and the perpetrator, leading to fear of legal repercussions.

Isolation and Desperation:Feeling Trapped: The relentless nature of sextortion, where predators might continue to harass or escalate threats, can create a sense of inescapable doom, leading to feelings of helplessness and isolation.

Cultural and Societal Pressures:

Societal Norms: In cultures where open discussions about sex or digital privacy are taboo, teens might feel they have no one to turn to.

Media Influence: Portrayals of similar scenarios in media often only showcase negative outcomes, reinforcing the idea that one's life could be irreparably damaged.

Law enforcement officials, psychologists, and educators emphasize the importance of open communication, education about online dangers, and fostering environments where teens feel safe to seek help. Programs to reduce stigma, improve digital literacy, and provide clear pathways for victims to get support are crucial in combating this tragic outcome.

How to protect your child from sextortion

Parental Guidance:

• Communication: Open dialogues about online interactions are crucial. FBI Director Christopher Wray emphasizes, "The best defense against this crime is to talk to your children about what to do if they're targeted online."

• Monitoring: Parents should monitor internet usage, particularly on smartphones and gaming systems. Limiting device use in private areas like bedrooms can reduce vulnerability.

• Education: Educating teens on the permanence of digital content and the tactics used by predators is essential.

It can be hard to talk with your kids, especially teens and preteens, about online predators. One way to bring up the subject without making your teen shut down is to casually discuss it.

Parent: "I heard a terrible story about a teen named James (or Jordan). Their story made me think of you. Have you heard about what happened to him online?”

Use the short explanation of James or Jordan’s story above to age-appropriately talk about how James and Jordan were good kids who were targeted by criminals and what happened next. Ask your child open-ended questions like, "Are your friends talking about people asking them for photos and videos online?"

After a casual discussion between parent and child, end with some reassuring words.

"If this situation ever happened to you, know it's not your fault. Criminals know how to get people to do things they usually wouldn't do. If someone does this to you, even if you send them pictures or videos, know that I/we have your back. You won’t be in any trouble. We'll get through this together."

Don't feel bad if your teen doesn't want to talk about this with you. You could also ask a therapist, a close, trusted family friend, or an extended family member, like the cool uncle that your kid is close with, to have this talk.

For Teens and Parents:

• Privacy Settings: Ensure social media and gaming profiles are set to private, reducing the exposure to potential predators. Talk with your child about not telling people online any personal information like where the live or go to school. Remind them that predators sometimes pretend to be a kid or teen. And don’t agree to meet up with anyone or send them photos or videos.

• Evidence Preservation: If targeted, save all communications for law enforcement. Reporting to authorities like the FBI or the NCMEC is vital.

• Immediate Action: Block and report the predator on platforms, but do not erase any evidence of the interaction.

• Get Consent: You might want to tell your close friend or family members but your child might not talk to you if they think “you’re going to tell everyone.” Ask your child who they’re comfortable knowing about the crime. And ask law enforcement how you can protect your child’s anonymity after reporting.

• Support and Reporting: Use resources like Takedown.ncmec.org to request the removal of explicit images from the internet. Report sextortion crimes to Tips.FBI.Gov

Expert Insights

Law enforcement and psychologists agree on the need for a broad, community-based approach:

• FBI Special Agent Eric Slaton notes, "Victims come from every background and every demographic... the impulsive teenage brain makes them very vulnerable to sextortion."

• Psychologist Dr. Linda Papadopoulos advises, "The key is to foster an environment where children feel they can come to you, no matter the mistake they've made, without fear of judgment or punishment."

Conclusion

Sextortion is a crime that exploits the digital naivety of young individuals, leading to profound psychological trauma or worse. Parents and teens can combat this growing threat through awareness, education, and immediate, supportive action. Remember, if you or someone you know is in crisis, call or text 988 to reach the anonymous suicide and crisis lifeline. Together, under hashtags like #IGotYou and #DoITForJames, we can fight back against sextortion, ensuring no more families endure such pain.