As a parent, you might be tempted to send your child to sleep-away camp to build independence and resilience. However, forcing a hesitant child could do more harm than good. As the director of an adventure camp, when parents ask if they should force their child to go to sleep-away camp, my answer is NO!

Should you force your child to sleep-away camp?

If your child is nervous about camp and says they don't want to go but agrees to give it a chance after a discussion, your kiddo might thrive at camp under certain conditions. Consider respecting your child's intense feelings when they insist they don't want to go to camp. Firmly resistant campers can lash out at camp counselors and other kids when forced into the experience. This puts your child, the other children, and staff at risk in a wilderness situation. We've dealt with this scenario with a teen camper, which was very stressful for everyone involved. When children become a danger to themselves and others, parents must drive or fly a long distance to pick up their child at camp.

Leaving home can be stressful. Going into the backcountry can be scary.

Adding additional stressors like anger and frustration over being forced into a new environment might overwhelm your child. It can be hard for your child to make friends and master new skills under these conditions.

It's better to wait until your child feels ready to go into the backcountry without you.

Jamie Thompson, also a seasoned adventure camp director, advises against it: "If a child is nervous and unwilling, the stress of being pushed can prevent them from thriving." Outdoor Adventures emphasizes that kids need to feel emotionally ready to fully embrace the camp experience.

The risks of forcing sleep-away camp

Forcing a child into a new environment, like a sleep-away camp, can amplify stress. "Leaving home is already a big step," says child psychologist Dr. Laura Markham. "Adding pressure can make it hard for kids to connect and learn."

Psychology Today explains that overwhelming emotions can hinder social skills and resilience-building — key benefits of camp. Instead, kids may shut down, missing out on forming friendships or mastering skills like teamwork and leadership.

The benefits of sleep-away-camp readiness

When kids are ready, sleep-away camp can be transformative. Camps foster independence through tasks like setting up tents or navigating trails. "Kids gain confidence by stepping outside their comfort zone," says Thompson.

A well-run camp like the one we operate through the non-profit I founded and co-founded with Matthew J. Berrafato will offer your child six key benefits that will last a lifetime.

6 Benefits of sleep-away camp

1- Working through social awkwardness to meet new people and make friends.

2- Gaining leadership, responsibility, and teamwork skills by accomplishing independent and group tasks.

3- Learning new skills in a "challenge by choice" environment where kids can fail judgment-free and gain resiliency by trying again.

4- Mastering new outdoor skills.

5- Developing or deepening their relationship with nature. And learning how to use nature to cope with life's stressors.

6- Growing confidence by stepping outside their comfort zone in several ways — going to a new place far from home, meeting new friends, and having independent experiences and stories to share with friends and family when they get home.

Check out our video on the shocking things kids told counselors at camp. The kids are not alright.

Preparing your child for sleep-away camp

Your child should learn a few skills before going to sleep-away camp to make them better prepared and more self-reliant. Parents could start allowing their children to practice these skills well before camp.

Topping the list is how to follow important safety instructions.

Knowing these basic skills will help your child have a safer and more enjoyable camp experience and prepare them for other types of overnight stays without you.

Teaching your children how to plan for their day is a vital sleep-away camp and life skill. While at camp, children will be asked to start their day in their watersports clothes and shoes, for example. They should know which clothes and shoes are meant for hiking, watersports, and chilly nights by the campfire and how to keep up with their belongings.

For example, they should always have summer necessities in their day pack, like lip balm, sunscreen, a refillable water bottle, a sun hat, a rain jacket, and closed-toed shoes in case the weather turns rainy or cold. Kids who can't follow instructions and constantly lose things aren't ready for camp and may struggle with these skills at school.

Practice team tasks at home, such as helping with chores or cooking dinner. Many children attend camp without knowing how to pitch in, help, or work together as a team.

These steps build confidence, making camp feel like an adventure, not a chore. We found that kids love when it’s their turn to volunteer with preparing, serving, and cleaning up after meals at camp. Try this at home.

Packing wisely for sleep-away camp

Most camps provide a packing list, which we do at our adventure camp. However, many parents still have additional questions about what their child should bring to camp.

So, here are some general tips to help alleviate your fear of not packing enough of the things your kiddo will need. And to avoid packing too much.

Definitely pack everything on the camp packing list.

A good list will include what's needed to enjoy the offered activities and keep your child comfortable. Pack early and double-check your child's bag after you've packed it. Pack clothes for the camp area's most extreme potential high and low temperatures. In July, the Colorado mountains, where we host our camp, range from 100°F during the day to 32°F at night.

In climates where winter conditions can occur in the summer or early fall, bring one set of sweats with a hoodie, a waterproof jacket, and a warm winter jacket. Pack a cozy throw blanket, their favorite pajamas, and a stuffed animal or doll if they're into that.

Ensure they have running shoes, hiking boots with ankle support, and water shoes that they can lace up or strap on. Do not wear flip-flops for water sports. Safety first!

Packing correctly is crucial. Follow the camp's packing list, including clothes for extreme weather. Avoid scented hygiene products and snacks to prevent attracting wildlife. Camp counselors should have an endless supply of healthy snacks that campers can access anytime. The counselors will also take measures to store food in bear-proof containers that will not attract bears and other wildlife into sleeping areas.

What not to pack for sleep-away camp and camping

Most camps provide a packaging list, which we do at Adventure Camp. However, many parents still pack things that counselors wish they hadn't. These are mostly items that your child won't want to give to counselors for safekeeping or safety.

We don't want to attract bears or other critters to our cabins and tents, and it's too hard to search multiple acres of wooded land for lost, expensive, or sentimental items.

So, here's what not to pack.

Personal hygiene products that smell like fruit, honey, other foods, or flowers. For snacks, the camp will provide many snack and meal opportunities.

Avoid bringing expensive toys. We're okay with your kiddo bringing their cell phone for selfies. But leave other costly gadgets at home. Although, most camps have an official photographer to capture photos of your child at camp.

Pocketknives are fine for older campers, but not at camp. We prefer that you leave anything sharp at home. If your camper needs a sharp tool for an activity, the camp will provide it under supervision.

Respect your child's intense feelings against sleep-away camp

If your child resists camp, listen. "Forcing kids can lead to resentment," says Markham. Psychology Today suggests gradual exposure to outdoor activities to build readiness. When kids feel in control, they're more likely to embrace the camp's challenges and rewards.

Over the past four years, children from all walks of life have arrived at our adventure camp and immediately bonded with camp counselors. We are often empathetic professionals, background-checked, trained to listen without judgment and advise kids to talk with their parents and caregivers about the complex emotions and challenges they confess to us at camp.

Each year, about 25% of youth participants ages six to sixteen expressed suicidal thoughts in the past 12 months.

After camp, parents reported improved socialization and confidence, less anxiety and depression, improved behavior and focus, and a love for nature.

When done carefully, sleep-away camps and day camps can positively change a young person's life while learning new skills.

You can also listen to an expanded version of this article, 'Nature's Classroom: Six Lifelong Benefits of Sleepaway Camp,' wherever you get your podcasts. Please leave a review to make it easer for others to find our podcast.

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Citations

1. Thompson, Jamie. "Camp Tips." Outdoor Adventures.
2. Markham, Laura. "How to Handle Your Child's Fears." Psychology Today.